


101 Ways to Die a Little

by a_special_unicorn



Series: Era of Peace [2]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Enthusiastic Consent, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Romance, Sex, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:27:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27359521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_special_unicorn/pseuds/a_special_unicorn
Summary: Heero may not be in her life any more, but he hasn't stopped leaving her gifts on her birthday either. Relena's ambiguous relationship with the young man who shared her formative years comes to a head on her 25th birthday when an embarrassing coincidence forces them to actually meet, face-to-face.
Relationships: Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy
Series: Era of Peace [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015413
Comments: 25
Kudos: 32
Collections: Bringin' Gundam Wing Back





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in years. There are probably more things to write here, but I don't know what they are.
> 
> I do not own any Gundam Wing Characters - only borrow them to play with.

In the early hours of April 7th, AC 205, Heero dropped silently into the white plaster balcony outside Relena’s personal residence. On the other side was the person herself, peacefully asleep, as Heero had planned. He had not come to see her.

Heero’s only objective was to continue the tradition of the past several years; placing the small bear next to her door.

He had never intended for this to continue after he had left the first gift in AC 196. The plan was to exit her life after the Mariemaia conflict, having seen her take on the mantle of Vice Foreign Minister to great praise. Her safety firmly secured in the hands of Lucrezia Noin, Heero looked to support her from the colonies; Relena’s vision would depend on the people of the colonies to rebuild and grow. 

That he could do.

Images of her in the news assured him that she was safe and healthy, and, for the most part, that was all he needed. 

But with each spring Heero was aware of a more primal instinct, pulling him to wherever she was, to momentarily relive those few years where they shared a personal acquaintance. He never truly understood why he could not leave this part of him behind. 

And so he stood, for the eighth time, not quite speaking distance from her.

The air was cool and his breath teased cloudy puffs of air before disappearing quickly into the night. Moonlight made the sheer curtains look like spider’s silk, framing the iron-wrought door that separated them. Her bed stood perfectly centered in his view, as if lit by a spot light.

His eyes had just picked out Relena’s figure when suddenly her body jerked, writhing against the sheets and his heart raced. He braced himself and put his fist through a hole in the ironwork. Within a split second his bloody hand had yanked the door open through the inner handle, and he ran to her bedside.

* * *

  
Another bear, another card was what Relena had found on her 17th birthday, announcing his departure. She had known he could leave at any time, but did not know if she would see him again soon. 

In a time of peace she had found herself too preoccupied to track the days, and when she thought of him again, it was sparked by another bear and another card for her 18th birthday. She had asked herself many times if this was better than not contacting her at all. But, ultimately, it was knowing he was alive and well that she needed. 

Really, why else would she want him to be here? She had been too busy to see him much when he was around, and having him wait for her to be done each day seemed cruel. She hoped he had left for a reason, and that was giving him more purpose than simply guarding her. Now neither of them were waiting, and it was better that way.

Except on her birthday. 

Over the years, the days leading up to her birthday would preoccupy her with thoughts of Heero. She wondered what he knew of her schedule, how he would leave her gift, and if she would catch sight of him this time. She thought she had, many times, but it seemed more likely it was her imagination than a mistake on the part of the “perfect soldier”. His face seemed to live in every man she met, as she subconsciously wondered how he had grown. His boyish frame and young face had probably changed, but his eyes… the intensity of his eyes... the sound of his voice... and the strength in his arms...

Relena tossed again in bed. Despite having a late start the next day, she still needed to sleep. A part of her was hoping to catch him in the act, she knew, and she chided herself for it. 

Who was she fooling? Pretending that she didn’t have him in the back of her mind, every day? It was silly to dream of a man she no longer knew, and it was wrong to fantasize of the person he would be, or believe he would be exactly the person she needed in her life.

But tonight, she needed to sleep. 

She gave into her fantasies of Heero’s arms, his eyes, and the feeling of his body against hers. She hooked her underwear to one ankle and felt her breasts through the dainty little nightgown, imagining how he would enjoy the feeling of her. Even what she was wearing tonight was for him, and she couldn’t deny it. 

At least not tonight. 

Tonight she worked her fingers through her own body and whispered his name into her sheets, until her climax came and her body jerked violently against her sheets. 

* * *

She stood in the doorway, gun trained on the man who had appeared over Relena Darlian’s bed in the middle of the night.

“Step back or I’ll shoot.”

Her employer was propped up slightly, one hand on the man’s chest, her eyes steeled on his face. She spoke in a commanding, even tone. 

“Drop your weapon.” Mina did not immediately realize she was being addressed, and stammered a little.

“Drop your weapon and leave us.” A pause as the young guard processed the situation again. Miss Darlian’s voice wavered only once. 

“This… is Heero Yuy.”

Heero Yuy was an open secret among the Darlian personnel. All staff under the Vice Foreign Minister had heard his name through the many prominent figures that met with their employer. Sometimes said with pity, others disdain. Even Duo Maxwell rarely mentioned it with anything warmer than frustration. 

A famous story told through the ranks cemented the figure of Heero Yuy in their minds. It was years before Zechs and Noin had left for Mars, soon after the first wave of recruits had come for Ms. Darlian's specially appointed personnel. 

Zechs had burst into one of Noin’s meetings, briefings in hand.

“What is this.” He demanded, throwing a singular file on top of the folder. It had a picture of a young man, short brown hair and in a spacesuit. 

It read, 

> Heero Yuy
> 
> Mobile suit pilot, Zero user, assassin.   
> Affiliation: Unknown.   
> Current whereabouts and relationships: Unknown. 
> 
> Upon contact, do not engage.

Noin hardly looked up from her own papers, seemingly expecting this. “Is something not clear?”

“Lucrezia,” a name not commonly used between the newlyweds in public, “he could kill her.”

She did not escalate in turn. The beautiful, dark haired woman only turned to him and said coolly, “He could kill her. He _will_ kill anyone else.”

“Are you telling me that we’re going to let someone this dangerous approach her? Our job is to protect her.”

“ _My_ job is to protect her, not yours. And, may I add, for exactly this reason.” she took the files away from Zechs, and it became clear that he was not supposed to have them in the first place. “I am telling them to report to a superior officer, _because_ this is their job. Not a suicide mission. We do not send these people to their deaths.”

Not a single person who claimed a personal acquaintance with Heero Yuy refuted her reasoning. 

And so, Mina lowered her gun, bowed, and retreated through the door, trying to make out the details of the man’s face as she went.

* * *

  
He had certainly matured. While still lithe, his muscles and face seemed more deeply set than she remembered. He was taller, larger, covering the whole of her without effort. One hand propped him up on her other side. She admired how his jacket stretched across his shoulders and hung open, framing his hard chest. Her hand pressed just under his collarbone, staying him a mere foot away.

Really, his figure surprised her more than his sudden appearance. In fact, on the contrary, it seemed only natural that he return to her life without warning. 

His eyes were fixed on her face, a mixture of concern and confusion. Something about him seemed lost and it drove her crazy.

“You’re okay.” He had finally come to his conclusion.

“I am.” As his tension released she let her hand drop. “You scared me.”

He straightened a little, and she saw him take her in. Slowly he tensed in a completely different way, and she knew he had noticed her thin sheets, leaving little to the imagination. His attention made her burn and she intentionally leaned forward, inviting his gaze.

“You looked like you were in pain.”

It took some time for her to realize what he had seen- what he must have thought. Suddenly she felt a deep mortification, knowing that he had thought she was in danger. Knowing she had been…

_La petite mort._

She always thought the French phrase seemed dramatic, but now… the little death indeed. She looked away, grasping for something to say, anything to say.

“Your hand, it’s hurt.” The glass of her bedroom door was… well first of all it was bulletproof. She stared at the lines that spread across her glass doors like a spider’s web, feeling suddenly like they had been caught in one. But was she the spider or the prey?

“Let me treat it.”

Relena started to slip out of bed until she remembered her panties were still hanging off her ankle. She imagined him noticing, and felt it was beyond her at the moment to handle explaining _that_. She had to distract him, even just for a moment.

* * *

“Heero,” his attention snapped back to her face as she pulled her sheets up to her chest, “could you find my nightgown? It’s in the bathroom.” She nodded towards a little door next to the elegantly carved exit. It was slightly ajar.

He immediately went to comply, his mind blank from the full effect of Relena’s figure in the moonlight. It was so different seeing her on broadcasts, dressed smartly, speaking with all the confidence of a hardened politician. It was easy to tell himself she didn’t need his protection.

But as Heero had hovered over her intoxicatingly small frame, he had wanted to crush her in his arms and never let go. Her frail shoulders and the slight curve of her hips… nothing in the world seemed strong enough to protect her. At least he… no, he knew how well protected she was. 

Even tonight, the difficulty in reaching her bedroom, the speed of her security- in the middle of the night- would have been sufficient for any intruder. No one could come close to her. 

Except him.

It was on that singular note that he found himself standing in front of Relena, holding out the long, soft robe he had found. She smiled graciously and slipped out of bed, still holding the covers up to her chest. Heero stepped in closer so she wouldn’t have to pull her bed bare. Her nightgown brushed against her upper thighs and the heat of her skin engulfed him. She slipped her arms through the fabric, the smell of her filling his senses. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeper.

He found that he had forgotten to breathe. When he opened his eyes it took a moment to find where the door was. Even then his feet felt like lead.

He had to leave. She was fine. Everything needed to go back to the way it was.

A slight chill as a damp cloth enclosed his hand, and Relena was suddenly back, gingerly wiping away the blood.

“Come to the bathroom. I need light to check for glass.” 

Heero could only swallow as she pulled him into the small, intimate room, her robes falling loose from her chest. He couldn’t take his eyes off the spot where the swell of her breast was interrupted by a tantalizingly hard nipple. She was not dressed for the cold spring night.

“I’ve asked for a proper first aid kit, but I still need to clean it.” She reached for the switch. The artificial light of the bathroom was harsh, snapping him out of his reverie.

“I can do it myself.”

“It’s easier with two hands.” Relena pulled the arm he had tried to reclaim back towards her with a chiding expression. It was reminiscent of the look she would give her opponents in debate, but softened with familiarity. 

Heero felt a smug sense of superiority over the publications that tried to pry into the private side of her, seeing how far they were from the truth. He saw what the actresses that imitated her, catering to the men whimsical for the beautiful woman who once reigned over Earth, could not capture. He reveled in her particular charm.

By the time her security entered, carrying a first aid kit, Relena was satisfied that the glass had done little more than scratch his skin. The bruising was far worse, and she went to work securing a cooling pack to his hand.

“I can’t stay.” he waited until the young woman who had tried to hold him at gunpoint left the room.

“I’m afraid you’ve missed your chance.” She didn’t look up from her work as she answered. “I’ve ordered everyone to leave. If you go, I’ll be alone in the middle of the night”

His eyes narrowed. “Why would they leave you with someone who just broke into your bedroom?” At this she smiled wryly. 

“You are… a very singular exception.” When she looked him in the eye, she almost seemed to be laughing at him. Heero realized he had been tricked. 

“The next shift is at 6 am. Stay until then.” She was sharper than he remembered. Completely unprepared to be trapped by her, he had let his guard down. And there was little choice but to agree. “Just think of it as my birthday gift. I’m a little old for teddy bears...”

They stood in her bedroom now, both looking at the damage at the door. The shattered moonlight drew lines across her bed. A breeze blew through the room, and Relena shivered.

* * *

“I suppose we should move into another room. There’s another bedr- no, wait. We can talk in the library. I can make us some tea.”

Relena found herself speaking faster, flushing from the idea that Heero would wonder why she had immediately thought to move to another bedroom. The way his eyes had latched onto her every movement was intoxicating. His hands, battered as they were, made her mind wander as she marveled in their size and roughness. She had to get dressed.

She preoccupied herself with looking for the clothes she had on hand that would work, while rambling on and on to Heero. What she said didn’t matter. As long as it buried her slip further and further behind. Relena felt like she could die from embarrassment.

Suddenly he was beside her, catching her gently by the arm. The incoherent stream of thoughts stopped, and she found herself face to face with the man she was trying to hide from. His eyes were intense, boring into her with emotions she only wished she could understand. The fire that rolled in her gut was so violent she could only shudder.

“You should go back to bed.” 

His injured hand rested on her waist as he led her back onto the bed. Their bodies squared off so she could sit. He reached for the covers with his other hand, the first still on her waist. The movement brought his face a hair’s breadth from hers. Their eyes never left each other’s, her breathing never recovered. 

“Your hand.” she whispered. He grunted softly as their lips met.

Suddenly he was propping himself up with one hand as the other pulled her into him, sheets and injury forgotten. She pushed herself deeper onto the bed and brought him on top of her, hungrily pawing at whatever inch of skin she could find. He responded in kind, pressing his hips against her so she could feel his arousal. She broke from the kiss only long enough to readjust, gaining the leverage she needed to push her hips against him. The buttons and buckles pulled at the few layers she wore, protesting their interference.

He brought his injured hand over their heads, shifting his weight onto that arm to free his good hand. She took it and guided it to her breasts, now barely covered by the thin nightgown. She hooked one leg over his hips and grinded against him, moaning as his fingers explored her soft skin. One hand reached down between them and groped for his member. When she firmly grasped him, Heero let out a guttural moan, inciting a new primal need in her.

Relena watched his face as she found the head of him and firmly wrapped her hand around what she could through his pants. The gasp he released as he tensed satisfied her beyond anything she had felt before. There was enough space now to slide his jacket off his shoulders, and he took the cue to pull his good arm out of the sleeve. Her eyes feasted on the chest that his thin, tight shirt clung to. She slid her hands under his shirt, around his back, and pulled herself up to kiss down his neck, one leg still hooked on his hips. In response Heero dropped his body onto hers, gripping her waist and ground his hips into her.

The feeling of his arousal against her hot core made her gasp, and she ran her fingers through his hair as she relished it. Her hips moved to match him, making her moan as the pleasure built up inside her. They were so, impossibly, close, and still so far from what she wanted. Her nails dug into him in an attempt to pull them even closer.

* * *

He lost patience with the tangle of clothes he kept shifting to maintain balance. Heero pulled Relena’s arms off him so he could lean back on his knees. He wrestled the tangled mess that was his jacket off his arm, and all but tore his shirt off. In contrast, the way she slid out of the arms of her robes was so sensual and soft they seemed to melt away. Freed, he brought her hips up to his and she dutifully wrapped her legs around him. The sheets were quickly slid off the bed altogether, and he righted them on the bed, giving them ample room.

As he laid her gently against the pillows, Relena’s legs did not release him. The angle made her little nightgown slide up her body, stopping only as they crumpled against her breasts. Her thin panties stretched pitifully to cover what they could. He put a hand on her stomach, pushing her away and signalling her to give him space. When she complied, he rewarded them both, sliding his hand down between her legs and pressing his fingers against the heat he found. Her mix and surprise and pleasure gratified him, stroking her again and again, experimenting to see how she reacted to each touch.

At the same time he pulled at his belt. The movement attracted Relena’s attention, and he watched her lidded eyes fixate on the bulge in his pants. The excitement translated into the hand currently buried between them as he leaned forward slightly and pressed his thumb into her most sensitive spot, forcing her mouth into a soundless “o”. Softly massaging her with his thumb, he pushed his knuckles against her panties, teasing her. Her eyes shut in surprise as a deep moan escaped her. When she opened her eyes again they were pleading with him for more.

She fit so perfectly into him. Still on his knees, Heero pulled Relena into him so he could press the length of himself against her increasingly ineffective panties. He could feel the dampness and heat through the last layers of fabric between them as he leaned forward to gather her up in his arms. She lifted so easily, grinding up against him as she hooked her ankles behind his back. He took the opportunity to bury his face in her breasts, pushing aside the thin silk to take her nipples into his mouth. Each flick of his tongue, grazing of his teeth and kiss rewarded him with a new angle and intensity of her grinding hips.

She pulled his head back into a breathless kiss. He brought his hands to her hips, grunting as his thrust sharply against her. Her legs loosened against him in response, and he could feel her sense of control slipping away. Bringing her back down onto the bed, he untangled the both of them to take her in.

* * *

Relena was aware of nothing else but the figure of Heero, hovering above her, his chest bare and his pants undone. The soft moonlight outlined his erection, boldy unfettered by all but a single layer of fabric. He was unbearably arousing.

His hands went to her hips and he hooked his fingers over her panties, now twisted beyond any semblance of an undergarment. She closed her eyes as his fingers trailed along her legs, lifting them to accommodate. When she was fully exposed, he held her legs over her with one hand, taking in the sight of her core appreciatively. She could see him twitch as he contemplated his next move.

“Heero.” 

She was breathless in her need for him. Heero gladly complied to her reach, kissing up her body as he nestled between her legs. Relena ran her fingers up and down, memorizing all of him and each touch that elicited reaction. She marveled at the way his muscles rippled, the broadness of his shoulders, the heat of his lips. Her core ached for his touch, threatening overflow with each teasing graze.

“I need you.”

They didn’t even take the time to fully undress. She unhooked his arousal from the last of their confines and he guided himself to her. Pressed against her, slightly parting the slick lips, they both held their breath and locked eyes, to relish the moment each would both finally, carnally, know the other.

Despite her eagerness, Heero could only enter part way. Together they worked him deeper inside, parting her walls bit by bit. Each inch made her more conscious of how much closer they could be, until they finally found the root of his need. At first they moved slowly, facing each other, adjusting themselves to the new sensations they incited. 

But when they found an angle that made Relena gasp and throw her head back, Heero’s patience broke and he sought her hungrily, pulling at her and burying himself in her breasts. Her moans and whimpers melted together as he worked, feeling her pleasure spread like waves through her body. In turn, she clamped down on him, as if refusing to release him after each thrust. Not knowing how much more pleasure she could bear, her release came as a surprise, and her body arched off the bed, burying her face in the pillows as she cried out. Heero grasped her firmly, keeping her attached to him, as the orgasm washed over her body.

His eyes were intently searching her face when she came back to reality, still breathing heavily. He held his hips firmly, his cock still buried deep inside her. A smug smile played at his lips as he leaned down and whispered in her ear.

“Now I know what you were doing.” 

Muddled and slow to gain clarity, she could only look at him for a moment. Then, the reason he was here- in her room- in the first place, came rushing back to her. Her hands flew to her face in embarrassment and she wished she could disappear, that her hands were bigger or that he would not take such pleasure in his newfound knowledge.

* * *

He nearly climaxed himself, trying to maintain control as she shook and shuddered under him. Heero could hardly believe the wild way her body moved, like she was... 

The image of her through the door earlier that night flashed in his mind. Now here they were, in almost the exact same spot, the moonlight had moved on and he was inside her instead of outside her window. The events of the night flashed through his mind, renewing his arousal. Had she been thinking of him?

The way she tried to hide her face, flushed from embarrassment and glowing from her climax, seemed to admit guilt to his silent accusations. In any other situation, he would have gently resumed his attentions, but at this moment, knowing how she must have wanted this…

He brought her hands together above her, despite her efforts to keep her face covered, pinning them down on the pillows. Her embarrassment, trying so hard to hide from her own actions, drove him mad with lust. He thrust into her, hard, making her gasp, and he reveled in the sound of it. Hooking a leg around his arm, he now had the leverage to take her in the only way that would satisfy him right now. Relena’s body protested half-heartedly, too sensitive for his rough lovemaking immediately after her climax.

But even while halfway turned away from him, Relena watched him pleasure himself with thinly veiled excitement. Knowing that she was so eager for his body finally pushed him over.

* * *

There was little sleep to be had that night. They dozed from exhaustion between sessions, but every touch seemed to excite the other and they would find a new well of energy to expend. When Relena awoke to the sunlight streaming through her windows.

Her body ached, her covers had found their way back onto the bed, and he was gone. 

_Good_ , she thought, _I might not survive his staying_.

On the morning of her 25th birthday she found all the pent up sexual energy she harboured towards Heero had finally been played out. The pining of her teenage self could finally be put to rest, and it was time to move forward.

But first, she had to explain to Pagan the situation with the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The little lies Heero and Relena have been telling themselves over the years are starting to unravel, now that they've broached the distance between them. Tired of being emotionally stuck, Relena tells Heero they have to move forward, for their own sakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I don't begin to own the characters. They're just muses for my own lack of talent :)

When morning came, it hadn’t even occurred to Heero to stay. His focus had been to return to the colonies in time for his next shift. 

But as he caught some sleep on the long ride back, he dreamed of Relena and awoke disoriented to find himself back in the colonies. The next few days was much of the same - it felt foreign for him to return to his small, sparsely furnished bedroom and go to bed without her. He found himself reaching for her as he woke up and expecting her… where? 

She had never stepped foot in the quiet apartment building, or knew that he was working on the new housing projects she had championed. But the figure in the news no longer seemed like the real Relena; just a stranger completely unrelated to the woman he had been with that night.

He committed to memory every second he could relive. Her most sensitive spots, her quiet, lusty moans, the look in her eyes… Heero pored over every moment, looking for more clues to the woman that was Relena, not the polished politician the world saw. 

And that’s how he realized they had not used protection. 

The realization came suddenly, and he cursed himself. What if she was pregnant? How long before she knew? How would she feel, what would her plan be, how would it affect her career?

How could he help?

The questions plagued him for the next few weeks. He counted the days and marked the earliest they could know for sure. He made plans to travel, for longer this time, and went over in his head over and over again what they would have to talk about. It didn’t matter to him what needed to happen, only that he could be there.

And that was how, six weeks later, he found himself outside her bedroom again.

He had waited until he saw movement, and navigated around the improved security to stand on her balcony, hoping she hadn’t fallen asleep. The door had been fixed, but the bed was no longer in view from the door. Instead, there was a little sitting area he had seen outside her bathroom, and Relena was looking over papers she had laid across the little table. His shadow made her look up.

She stood without hesitation and made her way over to the doors. Her nightgown was long, nearly touching the floor, and hugged her shoulders loosely. 

Still, she was breathtaking as she moved towards him, seemingly gliding the few feet across her bedroom.

“Heero?” She opened the glass doors, and the sound of her voice caught his breath. “What’s wrong? Come inside.”

He did as she asked and watched her close the door, taking in every detail his mind had muddled since their last encounter.

“I was worried about you.” he heard himself say, the same way he had practiced over and over in his head. It sounded foreign, to hear it finally said.

* * *

Relena was perplexed. She ran through the last few weeks in her mind, looking for anything that may have been broadcasted that could have made him worry. If she was honest, the biggest threat to her security for months had been… well, it had been him.

“You haven’t been sick?”

Did she look sick? Her brow furrowed even deeper, trying to find clues of anyone having been worried about her health.

Heero coughed, and she realized how awkward he looked. An idle thought wondered if he had just looked for an excuse to see her. Surely not…

“I thought th- by now if you...” His eyes moved to her stomach, finally revealing to her what he had thought was so serious he needed to come himself.

“Oh.” That would be concerning. “Um, Heero. Why don’t we sit down?”

It hadn’t even occurred to her that he would have been worried about getting her pregnant. Not that they had had time to talk about it, or she had any way of contacting him. 

Though, she supposed, that was why he was here.

When they settled into the little couch she turned to him. He seemed stiff, like a man receiving his sentence, but determined to hear whatever came next. This side of him made Relena smile.

“You know, my work is… fast paced.” she began, searching for the right way to broach the subject. ”And most people I work with are men, who don’t… have to slow down a few days every month.” Relena, paused, not having had explained this to many people before. 

Or really, anyone.

“I’m still very young, and people will find any reason they can to… not listen to someone the age of their grandchildren. I was struggling, and when I was talking to Dorothy she suggested birth control.

“It made sense. I could focus more on my work, and I could stop if I ever wanted to... have a family.” It also insured her against surprise visits from a certain person, apparently. “It didn’t solve everything, but it was an easy way to… make things better.”

She didn’t know when Heero had understood what she was trying to tell him. There was a point where she was really trying to defend her decision to herself. Relena was almost startled when he spoke next.

“So there was never… even a possibility.”

Was he relieved? It was hard for her to tell. It drove home how little she really knew the man sitting next to her now. But, even still, he had come all this way to make sure she was alright. It was a kindness Relena did not often see in her life.

“No, Heero. But thank you, really, for thinking of me.” She covered his hand with hers. It was the one that had been injured that night. The skin was mostly healed, with only a few scratches still visible. The tenderness of the moment reminded her of their childhoods, and the human connection they had found in each other.

But that wasn’t who they were any more.

She stood and put on her hostess face. “Will you be staying? I can have a bedroom made up for you.”

The silence that followed was deafening.

Heero’s eyes were searching her, asking her if this was really what she wanted. If this was the distance that was going to define their relationship moving forward. The courage that she hadn’t realized she was mustering failed her, her chest heavy with dread.

“I’m sorry, you can’t stay with me. Heero, I won’t ask you to leave but you can’t- we can’t...”

She couldn’t. The idea of waiting for him, not knowing when he would next appear, appeasing herself with memories of the people they used to be. It wasn’t fair to her, to either of them. She fought down the urge to cry, grasping for the words to explain.

“I don’t want to be stuck here. I’m not strong enough to be content with… Heero, I’ll want more.”

It was done. He would leave, and she would never see him again. It hurt but it would be better in the long run. She turned away from him, from the door, so he would be gone before she even knew it. The way he always left.

“ _I_ want more.”

* * *

Heero hadn’t known he had wanted this until she’d asked for it. 

But suddenly the agony of the past few weeks made sense. The past few years, even. The reason why he never could give up the small connection they shared on her birthday. He had been so… possessive of her private side, obsessively looking into every claim of a personal interview. Poring over her words, assuring himself that there was nothing they knew of her that he didn’t.

And then, his last visit. 

The way she completely took over his senses, permeated the corners of his mind. How had he actually managed to leave her room after that? And the way he had clung onto the idea that she was pregnant. He hadn’t even entertained the idea that she wasn’t. 

In fact, the news had nearly devastated him. 

The moments after Relena offered a separate bedroom had been nothing but panic. Panic that he had missed his chance, that she was shutting the door between them forever. That she had already come to the decision and was unmovable.

Instead, she wanted the same thing as him. And she was just as afraid that he didn’t feel the same way. 

And he had made her say it first.

Heero pulled her into his arms. She seemed like a frightened animal, afraid that any movement would mean her end. Former Queen of the World, current Vice Foreign Minister of the ESUN. Twenty-five year old woman. For all he had claimed to know her, he had missed her vulnerability, her humanity. 

He needed time to make it up to her.

Softly, he kissed along her brow, her nose, her cheeks, until her eyes lifted to meet his. He pushed her hair away from her face, trailing his fingers along her jawline before finally lifting her chin. Dropping his head, he brushed her lips with his, pausing to search her face for any reason to stop, before pulling her into a soft kiss. It wasn’t long, and he pulled back to watch her reaction.

He watched her eyes soften and tentatively raised her arms to his hips. She kissed him again and again, as if testing to see if he was real. He answered each with warm reassurance, determined to continue as long as she needed him to. Finally, she pressed her lips against his in a long, blissful kiss, melting into him as she pulled him closer. He felt himself reacting to her body, and he pulled away, unsure if she was ready for his physical desire.

Relena was breathing heavily, though he supposed they both were. She seemed completely unaware of his arousal, and moved to wrap her arms around his neck. He caught her.

“I’m not sure I can hold back.” His voice was low and scratchy. Heero had to swallow as he looked down at her.

She seemed to consider it for a moment, a brief one, before she lowered her arms and instead started to pull at his jacket. 

“Don’t.”

Without his jacket Relena was free to paw at his back and tangle her fingers in his hair. Her kisses became more desperate and he responded in turn. Heero tried to attack her mouth at a different angle, but even nearly lifting her up was still not getting the results he wanted.

So he brought her to the bed. 

Instead of laying down obediently she climbed up and sat on her knees, slowly backing up until she had pulled him onto it as well. Her fingers slid under his shirt and they paused so he could take it off. Soon her nightgown followed, and his pants.

Only when she was fully nude did Relena relent to him, laying back against the pillows. Their hands explored each other, without the hindrance of clothes, testing the memories they had played over and over again in their minds. Determined to add to them.

Heero kissed down her breasts, trailing across her stomach until he could lift her legs and taste her hot, wet core. Her quick, halting gasps excited him nearly as much as watching her throwing her head against the pillows, and feeling her waist grind against him, begging for more. He probed her with his tongue, then his fingers, looking for the sweet spots he had found before. Relena protested right until her body shuddered, clamping down on his fingers as her orgasm took over.

His fingers naturally slid out of her as he pulled himself up along beside her, claiming her mouth again. He laid next to Relena, teasing her with kisses as he ran his hands along her, reveling in the violent shudders they sometimes elicited. She panted every time he released her lips, reaching up to cup his face in a hand.

The satisfaction on her face conflicted him; should he let her rest or take her to new levels?

She didn’t give him the time to decide as her hand dropped from his face and enclosed around his hard member. Thought became impossible as she moved her hand along his length, softly massaging his head as she worked. 

It wasn’t hard, therefore, to push him fully on his back and settle herself between his legs, determined to return the favor. His mind went blank as her lips enclosed him, tracing his manhood with her tongue. She worked slowly, as if dragging his pleasure out carefully from within.

Heero had to stop her before she took him over the edge.

But Relena moved first, pulling herself to him for another kiss. The feeling of her soft, smooth body sliding across him was erotic, and he pressed a hand against the small of her back to stay her as he thrust his hips upward. 

She pulled herself through his grip, bringing her legs to either side of his body to stabilize herself. When the kiss ended she sat up, and Heero took in the sight of her, fully nude, reaching between them to adjust his aching arousal so it was lined up to her hot core. Heero moaned as he ground his hips, feeling her surrounding him.

He pulled her towards him, holding her just high enough on his body to press the tip of his cock against her, kissing everything he could reach. She was grinding her hips against him, looking for the perfect angle to take him inside… shuddering when they felt him part her. 

Hands on her hips, Heero gingerly lifted his hips, careful not to lose the angle she had worked so hard to find. Relena stayed perfectly still, sighing softly as he worked himself inside her. Only when he was firmly, deeply inside, did she start to rock against him.

Heero matched her slow, gentle pace, letting her lead their pleasure. Her hair spilled around them, and her sighs and moans seemed to echo against the thin curtain they made. She played with the angle, the intensity and the rhythm of their lovemaking, clenching her legs when she found a good combination. 

Heero was close to climax, but determined to let her orgasm again before indulging in his own. He punctuated her rhythmic motions with little thrusts, burying himself deeper than she could manage.

Teeth clenched, arms wrapped around her- anything he could do to take his mind away from the increasingly precarious pressure building in his loins- Relena’s release freed him to take his own. She had barely tensed when he felt himself unravel inside her, burying himself as far as their bodies would allow. Heero held her tightly as her body violently shuddered in pleasure, pulling at his sensitive manhood as it twitched. They rode the waves together, breathing heavily as they finally found themselves on the other side, entangled in one another.

With his last bit of strength Heero gathered Relena up in his arms and rolled her back into the pillows, so she could lie comfortably in his arms. They fell asleep like that, blissfully ignorant of the world.

* * *

Relena awoke to the soft rapping against her bedroom door. Pagan’s worried voice gently called from the other side.

“Miss Relena, are you ok? It’s nearly seven in the morning.” Relena jumped up in the bed, alarmed by the time. “If you’d like, I can ask your assistant to clear your morning.”

Her sheets puddled around her bare waist, and her eyes shot next to her. Heero was gone. 

Of course.

“No… no… my apologies to the staff, Pagan. Please have breakfast ready in ten minutes.” She ran her hand down her face, burying the disappointment deep, deep inside. 

She had a full day today.

“Very well Miss.” As his footsteps retreated Relena started going over what she could manage to do in the next ten minutes.

“I didn’t know what time you had to be up.”

Her heart jumped as Heero stepped out of her bathroom, half dressed in his briefs and shirt. He strode over to her. “Sorry.”

Of course he wouldn’t let himself be caught. Oh god, how long had he been up? Did he even sleep? Did she snore?

“No, it’s fine!” Her voice came out in a high pitch. She cleared her throat to calm her heart. “It’s fine. I’ll have to rush a little. Sorry we can’t-”

He leaned over and kissed her. She jumped back, protesting that her breath was awful. Heero laughed and kissed her again, pulling her out of the bed and onto her feet.

“You should get ready.”

He walked away in search of the rest of his clothes. Relena started towards her bathroom, but stopped before she disappeared behind the door.

“You’ll have breakfast, right?”

It was Heero’s turn to be caught by surprise. No doubt he had planned to sneak out the same way as he came in.

“You’ll have breakfast.” and she pulled the bell to have Pagan return.

They left her bedroom together, much to the surprise of her staff. She could feel the curiosity surrounding _the_ Heero Yuy. She requested privacy in the dining room, so he could be comfortable.

“I have to go, but I’ll have someone get you a copy of my schedule.” she said, buttering her toast. “Pagan will make sure everyone knows who you are… so you can come and go through the front door. I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk.”

Heero had been quiet since leaving her bedroom. She waited for him to give any indication of what to expect.

“I had thought I would need a week.”

Relena suppressed the urge to ask him when he would be back that night. She didn’t want to set any expectations. It was enough that he was sitting across from her, taking breakfast with her.

“Well I hope you’ll feel welcome to stay here if you need.” She smiled. They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence, stealing glances at the other.

When Relena found Heero in her bedroom that evening, reviewing her security notes, the anxiety of the day hung uselessly inside her chest. He looked up when she came in, smiling. 

It took her breath away.

“I didn’t feel comfortable borrowing your office.” A little feeling of glee percolated through her, knowing he felt comfortable in her bedroom. She walked over to him, and he stood to kiss her.

“Have you been looking at this all day?” she figured he was the best person to make improvements to her team.

“No, I spoke to Trowa today.” She arched her brows. She had had little contact with the third Gundam pilot since the war. “He’s a good source of work.”

Heero explained that he had been working on different projects as a manual labourer and mobile suit operator in the years they had been apart, but there was little of that work on Earth. “I have options.”

“I’m not asking you to drop everything immediately. Just… being in contact would be a good start.”

“The plan - _I planned_ \- to wrap up work and move to Earth.” She was surprised to hear this. “I figured I had eight months…”

Right, _that_. She blushed at the idea of Heero rushing to her side to be a father. His dedication to her, as always, went beyond reason.

“I suppose I should be sorry I ruined your plans?” She teased, trying to push past the subject.

He smiled and kissed her again.

They fell asleep that night in each other’s arms, as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Donezo. 
> 
> Honestly, I'm impressed with myself. I think there's lots to learn still, but I'm pretty happy with the result. It seems clean and emotive, which is my first goal. The years of technical and professional writing have really done a number for my creative writing, but the discipline and clarity is there.
> 
> Please do comment and criticize :) I'm old enough to have thick skin, so dig as much as you need.
> 
> ^asu


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